1. They most likely come from a toxic family/home situation. They’ve been victim to abuse in the past. They have bad relationships all around in their lives. They can’t hold on to a romantic relationship often. Most of the time, they wont put effort into progressing relationships or leaving unhealthy ones behind. Some thrive on having the unhealthy relation–more fuel for the fire.
2. They think of themselves as “Forever Victims”. These individuals cannot move on from the past. Every moment of the present is spent thinking of the past and how they feel robbed of something.
3. They end up repeating the same abuse they occurred amongst others, but refuse to be held accountable for their wrong actions because they will always see themselves as victims.
4. They’ve become incredibly self-centered as result of their victim mentality. They feel entitled to stepping on your boundaries with time, space, and resources because of their victim mentality. These are people who will try to make you feel bad if you request proper space from them. Logic and respect mean very little to these people when they are the aggressors.
5. They wear a mask for the first part of the relationship. Things between you and them, as a rule–start off very kind, safe, or like the quiet type when you meet them. A front is put up to draw you in so you wont reject them.
6. Boundaries are easily broken. Things progress too fast, you’ve had sex or you’ve seemed to become the best of friends too immediately– perhaps you thought it was great chemistry? Nope. Before you know it, you now have to listen to how they’ve been wronged in life. It becomes the most constantly discussed topic between you two. Toxic people draw you in too subtly and quickly shatter boundaries for their own wants.
7. They forcibly entangle themselves onto your life. Before you know it, they need to occupy all of your time. If you aren’t with them in person–they need to constantly talk to you through technology. If you have your own life outside of them–say goodbye if you don’t want them in it. Soon, they will have all of your friends numbers and be chatting with them perhaps without you even knowing it! Your independence will terrify toxic people. These people will go out of their way to implant themselves in every aspect of your life. It’s an obsession technique to give them control over you and your time.
8. They are terrified of being alone. They don’t like themselves no matter what front they put up. If you gain the upper hand and threaten to leave their life–they will try to feed you fake nonsense about life suddenly getting better. They’ve somehow seen the light. Toxic people will trick others into staying with them for their fear of loneliness if the victim card loses it’s appeal. They need to feel wanted and chase after what they feel their life has lacked.
9. Inability to have healthy relationships. Because of all of the listed above traits–these people fail in forming true and genuine bonds with others. They seek to create these bonds–but it can’t ever happen. They don’t have the trust, forgiveness, compassion, strength, respect, patience and understanding to have these successful relationships. It is a pattern to have unhealthy and abusive relationships.
whysolina